Movie Review: The Little Drunken Masters

It's a movie staring kids.  I think I'll pass.
But it's a Chinese movie where all the kids do Kung Fu.  It might be mildly amusing, but...

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for The Little Drunken Masters
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	2.9 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	3.6 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.8 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	The Little Drunken Masters
Director	Stanley Sui Wing
Actors	Carman Lee, Willie Chi, Xiong Xin Xin
Year	1995
Format Viewed	VCD Mei Ah VCD137 What is a VCD?

But it's a Chinese movie where the kids do all their own stunts, and the filmmaker has no qualms about dangling them from bridges, dropping them off tall ladders, throwing them against walls...  Oh really?
And the kids have to get really drunk to fight.  Color me intrigued!

"Give me liquor!"
How a 7-year-old starts the day right in Little Drunken Masters

Movie Review: The Red Panther

The best thing about watching (and reviewing!) obscure Chinese movies from the Gweilo's perspective is that you are carried into a cinematic world that is entirely different from anything you've ever seen before.   The Red Panther, an obscure 1983 Hong Kong film from director Kong Lung, definitely fits this bill. 

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for The Red Panther
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	2.7 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	4.3 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	1.7 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	The Red Panther
Director	Kong Lung
Actors	James Yi, Margaret Lee, John Chang, Lawrence Cheng
Year	1983
Format Viewed	Megastar VCD MS/VCD/234/HK What is a VCD?

From the opening scene of this Chinese movie, where characters eat bananas, inexplicably blow up inflatable pool toys, and seek “toilet pepper” while enjoying an “opera” performance that looks like it's taking place in a bus station, it is obvious that this film was not made with any kind of international or Western audience in mind.  Let's start with the film's genre:

Movie Review: We're Going to Eat You

I looked at the cover of this Chinese movie.   I saw the title.  We're Going To Eat You!?  Finally!   A Hong Kong produced Chinese zombie movie!

The Gweilo's Movie Ratings for We're Going to Eat You
The Chinese movie review continues below this info box!

Category	Rating
WTF Meter	3.8 out of 5
MST3K-Ability	4.5 out of 5
OVERALL QUALITY	2.2 out of 5

What do these numbers mean?

Chinese Movie	We're Going to Eat You
Director	Tsui Hark
Actors	Norman Chu, Eddie Ko Hung, Melvin Wong, Michelle Yim
Year	1980
Format Viewed	VCD (Mei Ah VCD937) What is a VCD?

But there were no zombies.  What was I thinking?  Hong Kong never had many zombie movies.  But they did have a whole bunch of this kind of movie.